GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
