I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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