So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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