how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
