I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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