I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
