Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
