stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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