but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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