so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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