I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
