I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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