party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
