hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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