Whatcha textin bout Willis?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
