I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
