Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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