so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
