I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize