Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
