Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
