Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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