ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
