We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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