yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
