Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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