My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
