Quick, to the slutcave!
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
