Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
they need to just BURY HIM!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
