what if every blade of grass was a penis?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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