So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
NoShamevember. You game?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
