I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize