yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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