You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
