i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
