spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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