do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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