Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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