Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
