Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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