I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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