I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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