Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
