I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
