thus making me awesome and them whores
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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