He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
