whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
