Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you will always have a special place in my vag
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
