I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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