I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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