im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
