We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize