so explain again why im purple
no
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
