so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
