I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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