You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
