so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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