If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
