plz talk dirty to me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
