Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize