I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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