I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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