her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
a search helicopter?!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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