Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
