Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
