took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
