Too much gin, very little bucket
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
