Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
