GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
