quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
