it's like iHOP with fire
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
